Little Myriad Smiles

Jobless!

Posted on: June 10, 2010

For all those faithful followers of my blog (read friends), this is the height of my joblessness.If you are also in the same situ,go ahead and read it.Otherwise,stop right here and scoot 😛

1. Last beverage – Coke

2. Last phone call- Priya

3. Last text message – Akhila

4. Last song you listened to – K’naan (waving flag)

5. Last time you cried – Don’t remember

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice? – Lolz! No.

7. Been cheated on? –Yup! (Who hasn’t been?)

8. Cried yourself to sleep? – I lose my sleep if I cry!

9. Lost someone special? – Yes.

10. Been depressed? – Of course.

11. Seen ghosts – Never and I really, really hope I don’t see them.

12. LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS.

Red, Black, Blue.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends – Yup! Plenty 🙂

16. Made someone smile – Guess so 🙂

17. Laughed until you cried – Yup yup!

18. Met someone who changed you – Nope

19. Found out who your true friends were – I always knew 🙂

20. Found out someone was talking about you – Nada

21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list-Kiss as in friendly kiss…yes (not locking lips :P)

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? – Most of them.

23. How many kids do you want to have – Two.

24. Do you have any pets – Nope.I don’t like pets.

25. Do you want to change your name – I love my name.

26. What did you do for your last birthday – I didn’t do anything. But people made sure that it was special. Love you all 🙂

27. What time did you wake up today – Lolz! 12!

28. What were you doing at midnight last night – Chatting.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for – Stand on my feet and travel around the world.

30. Last time you saw your father – Just now.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life – College life.

32. What are you listening to right now – My sister studying in the adjacent room 😀

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom – Nope

34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? My letharginess

36. What’s your real name – Rakhi

37. Relationship Status – Single

38. Zodiac sign – Scorpio

39. Male or female – Female

40. Natural Hair color? – Black.

41. Hair color now – Always black. Not a huge fan of coloured hair.

42. Pet Peeve – Childishness. Grow up people 😛

43. Need Glasses- I have and how I hate it!

44. Long or short – Short

45. Height – 5’1′

46. Do you have a crush on someone – Present would be Rannvijay *sigh*

47. What do you like about yourself? – Better understanding and a good judge of character.

48. Piercings – Ear

49. Tattoos – Nope.But would like to have one. Not too loud though.

50. Righty or lefty – Righty

FIRSTS.

51. First surgery – Not yet!

52. First piercing – 1 year old.

53. First tattoo – Longing to have a small one.

54. First best friend – Pooja

55. First sport you joined – Badminton

56. First pet – I hate pets

57. First vacation – Cape Comorin.

59. First crush- Rahul Dravid 😀

60. First alcoholic drink – Teetotaler

RIGHT NOW.

61. Eating – Nothing

62. Wearing – Skirt

63. I’m about to – Clueless, as always.

64. Speaking to – Nobody

65. Waiting to – People always ask me this and I have no clue.

66. Want kids? – Of course! Love them!

67. Want to get married? – When I find the right man.

68. Careers in mind? – HR manager

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

69. Lips or eyes – Eyes

70. Hugs or kisses – Both

71. Shorter or taller- Tall

72. Older or Younger – Same age/Older

73. Romantic or spontaneous – Spontaneous

74. Nice stomach or nice arms – Lolz! Doesn’t matter!

75. Tattoos or piercings- Individual choice, provided it is not those obnoxiously loud ones 😐

76. Sensitive or loud- Not too sensitive and not too loud.

77. Hook-up or relationship – Relationship

78. Trouble maker or hesitant- Trouble maker 😀

HAVE YOU EVER.

79. Kissed a stranger – Nada

80. Drank hard liquor – Nope

81. Lost glasses/contacts – Many times 😦

82. Sex on first date – Lolz! No.

83. Broken someone’s heart – Maybe.

84. Made someone cry– I guess so.

85. Been arrested?-No

86. Turned someone down – Plenty of times.

87. Cried when someone died – Never learnt to accept death. So always do that.

88. Got someone into trouble intentionally – Not that I remember of.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN.

89. Yourself – Right now I am too confused to believe in anybody or anything!

90. Miracles – Total believer.

91. Love at first sight – I never used to. But after seeing some successful relationships, maybe yes.

92. Heaven – Yes

93. Santa Claus – Yes 🙂

94. Kissing on the first date? – If I am absolutely sure, he is the right person. But fat chance 😛

95. Angels –Yes yes!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? – Yes.

97. Had more than one boyfriend/ girlfriend at one time? – Never. Not a huge fan of two-timing.

98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? – Absolutely!

99. What’s the one thing you cannot live without? – Love

100. Posting this as 100 truths? – Yup! Obsessed with honesty 😀

P.S.:Thank you Hari for tagging me and saving me from dying of boredom 😀

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Fear- an element so innate in humans…an element people take advantage of profusely…an element which snatches a part of us from ourselves. It is this fear that makes us espouse a power above us, a force so strong and radiant that none can escape its aura. But wait a moment-rewind and contemplate; was it fear or was it love?

The essence of this universe itself is the powerful power of love, the very power that we associate with God Almighty. But why is it that the fear element is more predominant than love. Why are we taught to fear Him than love Him? In fact, we inculcate this abhorred element into a kids’ mind at a very young age that at one point of time he/she finds God more of a punishment power rather than an embodiment of love. Amazed am I at the irony; shun love and shake hands with fear!

Heaven and hell, the twin compliments depict the abode of righteous people and wrongdoers respectively. The standpoint of righteousness is subjective, the very subjectiveness of which shades it with ambiguity. This ambiguity, in turn shepherded people to the not-so-right path. With time, the thin line between the right and wrong diminished. Confusion became rampant. Being atheist and agnostic came into vogue, especially among the youth 😐

On the other side, religious pundits, priests and maulvis advocated amplified beliefs. Demi-Gods (or was it demo Gods?) came into existence. Another commodity called religion was marketed and publicized. The common man fell prey to it. Violence was unleashed in the name of God! The embodiment of love became the embodiment of hatred. Religious humanism became extinct!

This brings me back to what I had started off with. To all those believers out there my question is what attracted us to that power…love or fear? For me the power has been a path leader, which made me espouse more of righteousness than its antonym. That complimentary path was not so unassailable… it stared at me right on my face most of the times and tempting it was I have strayed onto that at times, but a firm grip of morality and that powerful love always brought me back to my senses before it’s too late. I know for a fact that fear of Him would have never brought me back, but that love was too strong to be ignored 🙂

It was another one of our rendezvous at sweet mahal- the three of us shares a rapport which is way beyond words. Pure masti, that’s what we have all the time we meet, be it pulling each other’s leg, making faces or irritating the shit outta each other…everything spells f-u-n 😀 Gibberish talk is our area of expertise and at times we talk so much of crap that after sometime we are left wondering where it all began!  But at times these blahing away take us to serious ponderings and I simply love that clash of views, snapping and snubbing, raised eyebrows and rolling eyes 🙂

Innocence-that’s what we chanced upon today. The reason behind this discussion was a common friend of ours who according to Mr.J is the most innocent person living on this earth. Gorging all the pani puris, he kept on gushing about her while me n Mr.M was half staring at him with mouths wide open! With a gleam on his face and twinkle in his eyes he went on and on and we listened on and on. When we reached saturation, M and I drew the bottom-line… N is innocent and that shut his mouth! Whew!

Yes, N is very much innocent. Having known her for more than twelve years, I know that for a fact. And she excellently fits into J’s idea of innocence. Sweet and caring and viewing the world as a perfect place where most people are cherubs keeps her innocence alive at all times :)But let’s admit it, earth is not heaven and certainly not all Homo sapiens are angels. And whether you like it or not, you need to be ready to stand up for yourself and fight. So, that’s when M brought the question as to whether the people who stand up for themselves and fight for their rights are not innocent?

Good question! Standing up for you doesn’t kill your innocence. It’s just that those people have kept their eyes wide open and turns a deaf ear to the ‘ignorance is bliss’ perception. M drives home the point that innocence is being true to yourself and not being dumb as he believes that the widely accepted idea of innocence has more to do with stupidity. For him innocence is not suppression, while J kinda believes that the Indian woman is more innocent because of her silent suffering. M practically had his eyeballs protruding from his sockets when he heard it. Suffice to say that he went bonkers. And yeah, I took sides with him, him being my mirror-image, we couldn’t agree less. While M was going all haywire pointing out to J the contrary, his whole attention was on the dahi puri this time.(He did ask us in between whether we wanted a share, but one look at him, we both silently agreed to let him have the whole thing :P). Well, J believes that Indian woman would win any day hands down. A true spirited Indian woman that I am, I totally concur. But why doesn’t she protest? Is it because she is scared or is it because she is innocent? Or is she desperately trying to fit into the ‘idea’ of innocence? Why can’t she just listen to her gut feeling? Quoting M, “We don’t exactly live life on a rule book right? So, why should we relate to gut feeling as something outside as… as something so distant?” Brilliant M!!!

Well, the discussions went on for an hour and as usual we were at loggerheads with each other. From Sita and Virgin Mary to Wordsworth’s Lucy and Marquez’s Remedios the Beauty, we have had different insights to innocence. But in the end we all agreed on a common point; innocence is always subjective. So, maybe there’s a mockingbird in all of us and it’s a sin to kill it ‘coz it symbolizes our innocence…the innate goodness that we are all born with. (Yes, I am a big fan of Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’) .As J rightly puts it, “It’s a mater of heart.” Yes, sire M and I bows!

No, she’s not my grandmother. She’s somebody I met in a local train…somebody who changed my perspective… somebody who made me appreciate life. I never even got to say goodbye to her. But she did certainly etch a place for her in my heart! 🙂

It’s 10 o’ clock. Two kilometers away, the train is all ready to set its journey and we are stuck in the traffic. I was damn sure we would miss it. Amma was nearly on the verge of tears and Raji, my sis was…er, I guess I didn’t look at her. I was staring at the seaming crowd coolly. First of all it’s not my cat exam (grins).Second; there are plenty of options if you ask me to reach Calicut even if you miss one train. You can always call a taxi, give him a few extra tips to fantasize himself as a F1 driver and catch the train in the next station(a little bit of exaggeration, I admit!). Not that I was much interested in accompanying her to her cat exam. It was just that the thought of Kozhikode biriyani and halwa allured me a bit too much and as usual my parents clubbed it with a pilgrimage to Guruvayur .The only thing that bugged me is to how to kill time once we are in the train.

Yippee!!! The train was late and we got it. But it was full of snooty crowd and added to it I didn’t get a window seat. Swallowing all the cuss words, I went around in search of a seat. After settling down, I tried texting all my friends and only one bothered to reply me. We chatted for quite a bit and he also left. Left with nothing else to do, I took out my copy of Tagore’s Gora and started reading.

Somebody was smiling at me. I could see that out of the corner of my eye. Slowly, I lowered the book and my eyes met hers. My first thought was, “Whoa! Cool”. Having so used to seeing aged people either too weak or sullen and dull, the grandmother I met that day was a pleasant surprise. She might be in her late sixties, looking all smart and ‘chic’ in her capris and tee. Smiling, she asked me whether I read Tagore’s books. Expecting that she’s into his books and all, I shyfully admitted I haven’t read any other book by the author. With a naughty grin, she told me that all she read in her teens were Mills and Boons. Oh boy! I was so surprised! 😀 And so began the inspiring story of my new-found granny 🙂

Born in the pre-independence era, she hardly got any education. College was a word alien to her. By the time India got her independence she was married. Then like any other Indian housewife, she was busy with her household chores. But after the demise of her husband and the children got settled, she started a play school. That was the turning point in her life. Here was a woman who didn’t feel the need to shut herself in a room and vile away the remaining years of her life as a mere widow. She chose to stand on her feet, live her life and not just exist. Added to it she started traveling a lot. The gleam that played in her eyes while she was recounting her itineraries couldn’t help but bring a smile on my face. There she was…a free bird, spreading out her wings and flying wherever her wings could carry her…gleeing joyfully…smiling playfully…living life!!! 🙂

For me SHE is woman. The courage to go out and meet the world…a woman of strength, substance and beauty…not defied and diminished by her age or milieu. I couldn’t say a goodbye to her because she was sleeping peacefully, but granny you will always be special 🙂

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Finally!!! Yes, finally I am starting a blog! After years of persuasion (from some true friends of mine) and contemplation (coz that’s just how I am), I decided to give it a try. Being an avid reader from a young age itself, I got so used to seeing acknowledgements in the beginning that I just can’t seem to proceed further without thanking all those people who were the driving force 🙂

Well to begin with, I owe a lot to my friend right from school Anisha aka Ani who made me believe that I can write one and when I profusely refused to do so, went on a cold war with me,never bringing up that subject with me again. She reminded me of my personal diaries (which I used to write from 2nd std. onwards…) which kinda inspired her into writing a blog (btw, I was really touched by that Ani) and was all shocked to hear that I burnt all those in a fit of fury! (I know, I completely lose it at certain times…and yes, I do regret it like anything).Like I said, she never brought that subject up again, but it kept on nagging me. And after lot of procrastinations, the blog is a reality. Whoa!

The tech guys- Jacob and Manu who were instrumental in getting some techie knowledge into my otherwise “no-tech, please” head and advised me into using wordpress when I was all ready to blog in blogspot. Jacob was the one who introduced me to the world of blogging and not surprisingly all the links that he sent me were of tech related blogs and the first ever blog that I read was his!!!

Of course, the twin optimists Akhila and Hari…they drove me nuts with their “obnoxious optimism”…they bore all my mood swings patiently…they stifled their yawns when I kept on ranting and venting even if it’s in the dead of the night! Akhila gave me a big thumbs-up on my decision to blog, judiciously discarded all the blog names that I came up with and helped through all my phases of losing myself. Hari, (yes, the famous blogger of “I chose the red pill”) is the epitome of obnoxious optimism and without his lavish praises and gentle cajoleries I think I would have become the queen of procrastination.

Two people who taught me that opening up isn’t bad-Neeta and Minto. Without them I would have become a bottled-up stuck-up girl. I owe a lot to Jinz for her patience, care and scolding (grins), Jobin for teaching me to walk the narrow bridge, Tina for the person she is and Priya who is lurking in the corner but still manages to pop her head when I want her;Andrew,  Ashiq, Ashish and Rahul for accentuating that curve that totally defines me-my little smile!

Thanks to all those people who loved/love me, hated/hate me, people who made my life miserable, people who made me realize that I am worth living, people who smiled at me, brought a smile on my face, scorned at me, made me scorn back at them, smirked, chuckled, laughed at me, for weaving me a nest of memories to cherish 🙂

“A fool’s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into speculation, and art into pedantry. Hence university education.”

-George Bernard Shaw

An ideal prelude from somebody who lived fifty-nine years ago for a contemporary rumination like this…amazing, isn’t it? Yes, Mr. Shaw has again proved himself to be the high priest of cynicism juxtaposed with contemplation.

What’s the big deal in getting a college admission, right? Well, most of you can claim it was a piece of cake. For some, all it took was to shut themselves in a room for two long years and bury themselves under a pile of books and some others were just lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth (ka-ching)!

Education has come a long way in India from Gurukul system of education to the present-day scenario. But the quality of education has waned steadily over the years. And with each passing day it’s further going downhill, which inevitably brings us to the question of why a country who boasts off thinkers and scholars like Tagore, C.V. Raman or Abdul Kalam is in such a plaintive state?

So, are our universities graduate manufacturing industries? When was the last time we saw a Nobel Prize being brought home in physics or chemistry? Back in 1930, if Sir C.V. Raman could win a Nobel Prize in Physics, why are we unable to produce more Nobel Laureates (strictly referring to that handful of people who are still in this country)?  A familiar set of questions that we keep on asking ourselves but prefer to sit tight and do nothing about it.

With a literate population of 400 million, a lack of talent or intelligence is certainly out of question. In fact our country can boast of an I.Q. level par excellence. But the big yen for professional courses among the youngsters of today for quick money poses a big threat to our education system. Opting for a B.A. or B.Sc. degree is scorned by the society as there’s an erroneous credence that people who opt for such courses are those whose academics are way poor. What a pity! If there’s a veritable interest in a student to study the professional courses, fine…but if you are in it for the glamour it offers in terms of a lucrative job and if it’s the ring of money that allures you, I must say that our country is in a pathetic state. The saddest aspect of modern India is that brilliant young minds are ready to mug up( even if they can’t make heads or tails out of it) and spew it on the paper and by our university standards, since the number of paper you write determines your marks ,mugging up does pay! “Write any hocus-pocus. Make sure you write a good intro and then add any claptrap to it. Exams are all about filling up the paper”, the latest mantra of the would-be professionals (it might be a giggle to read this but surely, it has a pitiful side to it)!!!

Luminous minds rehabilitated into muggers…a face of India that we are espousing and fathoming. Basically, our universities have become huge industries that transform raw materials called “students” into finished products called “professionals”, raring to go work like machines, muted to everything that’s going on around. This might sound far-fetched to some, but the reality can’t be ignored. The chief reason for this is that academic motivation is no longer in the picture; all that is left is economic motivation.

With brain drain looming large and the attitude of those who are left behind being this, our country is handicapped and undoubtedly incurring a big loss. “The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them”. An education system aimed at academic motivation and not economic motivation should be our priority. It’s imperative that we start it right from the school level. We have to evolve ourselves into a broad-minded society where each and every stream of study has its own importance and weight age. Hopefully, our universities then will not be seen as a graduate manufacturing industry; rather as a temple of education.

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