Little Myriad Smiles

I don’t know what is happening to me today. I feel good in a lonely way; feels like eluding everyone and hugging myself. I am even writing after a long time and decided to post it without reviewing, giving a damn as to what people are gonna judge about me. I am done being conscious of my surroundings to the extent of losing myself in the process… I am done being nice to people when they don’t deserve it. Some brand me heartless; I laugh at them and wish that they would identify the real them that hides behind the outer facade.

Don’t know why, but I woke up early which is so not me- snuggled under the blanket and thought about nothing, then some things and again back to nothingness. It is amazing- the way your mind can take you into realms you never knew existed inside you.

The weather is awesome. The coldness is piercing through my skin mercilessly and I am loving every bit of it. I do nothing to ward it off… I just let it crawl inside me. Maybe, this is a way of letting go of my inhibitions, fears and people.

I was watching Dhobi Ghat a little while ago. The two elements that the movie showcased, the endless seas and the incessant rain, flooded my mind with memories and of course, my twin sister- my thoughts .I find a connection between me and them- a bond so inexplicable right from childhood and grew so strong that they can give me the peace and sense of mind that makes me sane, connected to the world yet so disconnected from everything.But I know that however hard I try to express those thoughts or try to explain what memories can do to me, I will never be able to do so- those nostalgic memories and myriad sensible, nonsensical thoughts will always remain intact within me, safe and sound accentuating my favorite curve-my smile.

I know I make sense to some out there- very few who shares my thoughts and my wavelength. To the rest of you, this post might sound dark, cold and dull. And hell no, I am not going through any sort of depression. I am in fact happy and at peace with myself. I made such a distasteful maggi, that I realized you can even screw up in just two minutes. But I just smile and grins at life- bring it on!